I’ve had occasion to examine fear lately, and the role it plays in my life. While most of us tend to go about our lives without much call to consciously experience overt fear, no make no mistake that fear more-or-less dictates our lives. Sometimes fear can be adaptive in modern society, yet almost certainly limits our choices.
While in most parts of the world people are faced with stark limitations to their choices, in developed countries we have far more options. And yet how many of us are fully able to experience our potential, reach the uttermost limits of discovery of what we are capable of; who we really are?
I suspect this is a small minority, the rest running into a number of fear-based roadblocks in their lives. The fact that an overwhelming number function in society like so many others suggests not that we have found a universal nirvana, but that we have settled into a more-or-less comfortable place where the perceived risks – which is fear manifesting – outweigh any imagined benefits.
So let me divert from my normal ramblings and just let me bitch. Not two months ago I bought a 2004 Jetta TDI station wagon. I bought it very cheap as it had a blown head and was many miles away. Looking for adventure, we purchased an entirely new drive train with far fewer kilometres (<200k vs 300k) and did an entire engine/tranny swap where the car had originally broken down. Read the whole story here.
Funny how it works: feeling stuck, despairing, and so predictably just say fuck it and give up. And of course that starts the process rolling. I guess I should have anticipated that, as I’ve experienced it so many times.
Letting go sounds easy, but it never is. I would argue that most of us just don’t know how to do it, as it’s not something we are often called upon to do; society generally exhorts us to hold on, never give in, don’t be weak. Surrender is for sissies and losers.
And yet, as so often the case, when we give up fighting, we free ourselves.