This week has been a milestone for me, in so many ways. For the first time in over two years, I finally found a moment of deep, inner peace. For one day it was as if we were back on our sailboat: life was simple, there were no “must dos”, I was alone at the ocean shore and the sun was shining. Everything was complete, and I felt complete. I had forgotten what that feeling was like.
Although my novel doesn’t come out for a few more weeks, a few electronic copies have been distributed by my publicist, and the reviews have been coming in.
Needless to say I’m pleased, although I’m trying not to get too excited, because if you allow yourself to worry about what others think of your work, what goes up can come down pretty damned fast. I don’t want my mood or experience of my work to be be swayed by external forces, and that means allowing the good to wash off along with the bad. In the big scheme of things it really doesn’t matter anyway, does it?
Note also that as part of a promotion I’m giving away ten copies of the novel once it’s published Nov 30. You can enter to win one at Goodreads here.
You can also preorder the book by clicking on the cover photo below, which will take you to my author’s website with various online store links.
Funny thing about change is that it changes things. Many times over the last few years I had earnestly looked forward to a time when things would go back to what they were before mom came to live with us. She would move out, Tracy and I would get our own place, and life would go back to the delicious normal I knew before everything changed.
Of course we had sold our beloved CS 36 Traditional sailboat, so that part of our life wasn’t coming back. But the boat was just a home, and lots of things and places can be one, so I didn’t really see that as a deal-breaker. Something wonderful had been lost, but life can have many flavours.
Once we were living on our own, I was sure things would settle out, but it’s not looking that way. What I failed to take into account was the effect of living life on the self; I couldn’t go back to where I was, because I’ve lived so much challenging life since then. Put simply, I’m not the same hungover dude who crawled out of our sailboat to take care of mom.