A reader recently responded to a previous post, noting that my writing has lapsed. I’m glad someone noticed. I get a great deal of traffic to my blog, but pretty much no interaction, which is a strange thing; the stats show lots of people are reading it, but with few comments or other interaction, I sometimes think I might as well be howling at the moon.
I’ve been off cruising aboard Peanut for the last few weeks and It’s given me a lot of time to decompress and think and be. There nothing quite like warm sea breezes and a moonlit night to start wondering about your place in the cosmos. It’s been a good time.
It occurs to me that It’s funny to find oneself in a place without dreams, and I wonder if this is the universal way of things as we reach the denouement of our lives? I’m glad for the dreams, and that I’ve had the luck and privilege of having pretty much achieved what I set out to do. But dreams turned out to be funny things: we have this idea of what we want, where our paths should lead, but once we arrive we discover its not at all what we had imagined. This isn’t a bad thing as dreams work really well at motivating us to walk down unknown roads, but don’t expect to find your destination to be what you thought it would be, because, after all, you’ve never been there.
Dreams take us to all kinds of strange and wondrous places, just not the ones we expected, and in the end, that’s half the fun. But after striving and arriving so much, you eventually realize that there’s no more pursuing to be done.
I’ll back up. Many years ago, before the current millennium, I was a wage slave like most people – getting degrees, attempting professional careers, but it didn’t work out very well for me; apparently I don’t play well with others, especially when the others are nincompoops. I need to hew my own path. So I dropped out and became a writer.
Now trying to live on the west coast on one person’s full-time income isn’t easy, and being an artist essentially means the cash isn’t happening. Still, I lived a wonderful and simple life on our sailboat Fainleog and I was very happy even without a lot of options. But life changes as it does: we moved ashore I got back into what I call turd polishing – restoring old yet desirable vehicles, like VW campervans. Mostly as a kind of a hobby, but occasionally making a few bucks. Just recently I made a colossal windfall on one, and with that capital I’ve decided to give up turd polishing – I’m getting too old and it’s just too wearying to spend week after week restoring vehicles.